I filled out a form recently which asked: What motivates you to innovate? Without hesitation I typed in “Motherhood.” I had no idea that having kids would rewire my brain so fundamentally, but it did.
A few posts to contemplate on Mother’s Day…
Mothering Cal: What I learned from parenting a terminally ill child, by Maria Kefalas
Twin Tuesday: Breastfeeding Twins, by Danielle Jones
In sickness and in health (Her mother’s perspective on reading Lisa Bonchek Adams’s blogposts about metastatic cancer), by Rita Bonchek
I love being a working mom, by Wendy Sue Swanson
Oh, and put down your mimosa or you’ll spill it:
thanks for posting and reminding us not only of her brilliance, but that motherhood isn’t a stereotype and can be how you define it 🙂
I think you’re talking about Chrissie Hynde but what I love is that any of these women redefine “motherhood.” Indeed, they all “understand blood and understand pain, there can be no life without it – I’m a mother.”
Susannah, Thank you for these beautiful posts to help us live in the moment! Happy Mother’s day to you and your family.
Thanks, Joyce! The same to you & yours.
thanks for sharing these insightful posts Susannah! happy mother’s day!
I picked the heartbreaking post of Maria Kefalas as my contribution to the Mother’s Day. She tells the truths of life and I confess that she has shaken me..
Me too. It’s changing how I act in the same way that “This is water” changed me. See:
http://youtu.be/xmpYnxlEh0c
It’s nice but…? It’s particularly strange if viewed as any kind of endorsement of pursuing education. Although the narrator says it isn’t a “typical” commencement speech, it appears to be a commencement speech nonetheless. It would have been enlightening, but I didn’t hear the speaker’s opinion about where one *does* gain awareness – did I doze off? ’cause, honestly, I think I missed the big “a-HA!”
That video is a re-sexified version of Wallace’s speech (sorry, I’m determined to use that word every day now that I’ve learned it — see my post about HIV clinical trials).
Here’s a version of the full text:
http://moreintelligentlife.com/story/david-foster-wallace-in-his-own-words
I’m not a Zen practitioner, but it resonated with what I’ve read about the pursuit: to make every moment a potentially holy one. To beam love out to the world, like Mister Rogers did (see: https://susannahfox.com/2013/01/07/look-for-the-helpers/) To choose to see and honor the humanity in everyone, including yourself. To use your education to improve your internal conversation.
In practice, after reading the speech, I smile at people in crowded security lines at the airport. I let someone who seems stressed check out ahead of me at the grocery store. I stop and point out the sunset to my kids if they are grousing about something on our walk home from school. I strive to hit the pause button in my own head and say, “This is water. This is life.”
I’m quite sure that people think I am odd sometimes and I am not always able to hit the pause button in time, but it’s my understanding that Zen practice is simply that — an attempt. We get another chance to be present in the very next moment. That’s been comforting to me as a parent, just to bring it back to the post’s topic. I fail. I try again. I do better.
Can’t resist posting another mom video (every day is Mother’s Day around here, right?)
http://youtu.be/UXSW16rqDFw
Susannah, I feel incredibly honored to have been included in this post. Thanks so much. And I totally agree, I feel like my brain has definitely been re-wired since having my duo.
I am long past the infant stage of my motherhood and you are my #1 source of cute baby pics on Instagram (and my #1 source of “how does she do it?!” inspiration). So it was a natural fit to include you.
Since you are celebrating your twins’ half-birthdays this week I’ll share that I celebrate my first son’s birthday as my own became-a-mama day. No cake, no cards, but a deep and abiding sense of gratitude. That’s my Mother’s Day.
I’m revisiting this post a year later, on Mother’s Day 2014. I’m more aware than ever of the commercialism and stress associated with this holiday, for both the current generation of moms (and their families) as well as for anyone who spends this day thinking of a deceased mom, wishing they could have been a mom, wishing they could have had a mom they would like to honor…
For those reasons and more, I’m finding myself going silent on the matter on Facebook, Instagram, and Twitter, not even wanting to look at the public performances of this day, out of solidarity with all those who can’t or don’t celebrate and, interestingly, the woman who created Mother’s Day 100 years ago. Here’s Anna Jarvis’s story, in National Geographic.
One more share: an incredible post by a woman who asks that we honor the full, wide spectrum of mothering on Mother’s Day.
A sample of her suggestions of how a pastor might honor mothers from the pulpit:
To those who gave birth this year to their first child—we celebrate with you
To those who lost a child this year – we mourn with you
To those who are in the trenches with little ones every day and wear the badge of food stains – we appreciate you
To those who experienced loss through miscarriage, failed adoptions, or running away—we mourn with you
To those who walk the hard path of infertility, fraught with pokes, prods, tears, and disappointment – we walk with you. Forgive us when we say foolish things. We don’t mean to make this harder than it is.
To those who are foster moms, mentor moms, and spiritual moms – we need you
(and it just gets deeper)